HARK Newsletter - March 2005 Issue

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Welcome to the HARK Monthly Spiritual Newsletter.

In this month's newsletter:
1. Inspirational quotations
2. New on our web site
3. I Can't Get a Word In Edgeways!
4. GLOBAL LOVE DAY
5. Tarot Truths
6. and FINALLY...

1. INSPIRATIONAL QUOTATIONS:

"In the kingdom of the birds, the parrot is the best talker and the worst flier" Orville Wright

"Never fail to know that if you are doing all the talking, you are boring somebody" Helen Gurley Brown

"There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting" John 17:4 Bible (15th-16th Century) - not verified as to authenticity, but it's an interesting quote!!!

"Frustration is the wet nurse of violence" David Abrahansen

2. NEW ON OUR WEB SITE

>>>> NEW READER JOINS the web site

TONY - Clairvoyant and tarot reader.

Tony reads Tarot and Romany cards with great accuracy and in a caring, straightforward and gentle manner. He uses general numerology, sees 'auras' and sees or feels a person's future path.

View more about Tony at http://www.hark.net.au/tony.htm

3. ARTICLE "I Can't Get A Word In Edgeways! "

by Julie Hargreaves

This phrase sums up the feeling of some conversations, particularly in groups, and especially when there is a heated debate going on.

Imagine you're in a typical heated discussion and your just bursting to chip in your bit. You sit there on the edge of your seat, words at the ready, waiting for someone to draw breath for just a tiny fraction of a second. And then you're off, just like a sprinter from the block at the crack of the starting pistol. But - too late - someone else got there before you! So, you wait again, hearing their words, but not listening to them, rather you're judging when the next gap might come, so you can jump in quicker this time and get your say, before the topic changes to something else and you've missed your chance altogether.

Not surprising that the adrenaline is starting to flow a bit, even to the point where desperation has you "jumping the gun" and cutting off other people before they've finished. Perhaps even talking over the top of others in a louder voice - you're just desperate now to get your point of view out. Then when it's your turn, it's cut and thrust as you parry potential interruptions, or throw out "can I finish?" in that disdained tone that lets your challenger know they are treading on your turf now.

Why do we do all this?

Will the world end if we don't share our particular point of view? To what lengths will we actually go, to get our viewpoint across? And if we don't, does it come down to fisticuffs or storming out in a rage?

To understand the dynamics of a typical "debate", we need to look at the participants in relation to each other and the energy that flows between them. When we see who are the losers and who are coming out on top, it perhaps gives us a better clue about motives.

In any debate, we can usually find a "Hogger", one who has to keep on talking - can't shut them up once they've got the floor. Whether they've anything to say or not doesn't matter, so long as it's them talking and everyone else listening. They're in the spotlight and milking it for all it's worth. You can easily spot their motive here - getting an energy boost from everyone else in the group, bolstering their own self worth and often at the expense of others.

Hoggers may come in various guises - such as the "Driveller" who just keeps up a flow of words, about anything, often repeating themselves, other people's conversations, the weather, what they had for breakfast... They'll even ask questions, but not give you time to answer before they've moved on and are drivelling about something else. Or, the Hogger may also be a "Know It All" - knows everything, has an opinion on everything - their point of view is the only one that counts and they will share out their "wisdom" on how you should do this or that... (whether you actually want it or not).

On the other side of the conversation or debate, we have the "Listeners", the ones who are donating to the energy flow by listening, because by participating, they are giving their attention to the ones holding the centre of the stage. Listeners vary from the "Go with Flow" types, who take in what they want of a conversation, maybe contribute to it in parts, but don't worry too much if they've shared their truth or heard someone else's, even several times. The energy may flow outwards from them, but because they are not "hooked" by the speaker, they are not feeling drawn by the process. They stay balanced. They may give out, but they are not depleted by giving.

However, when the passions get stronger and the debate more exciting or heated, then we usually get a few "Frustrated Listeners", who have something they want to share, but "can't get a word in edgeways". They may start out as "Polite Listeners", who follow the rules and conventions of dialogue and wait until a pause before joining in, stopping when they've said their piece and allowing others to speak in turn. Some Polite Listeners may be hesitant about expressing themselves and so miss out because they are slower to step in than other participants. This is often where the build up of tension occurs, because they have something to express and no opportunity to do so. The energy builds up inside them to a point of frustration and as a Frustrated Listener, they step out of their normal behaviour and characteristics and often assault the conversation in order to break in to it. Typically - with a louder voice, by getting angry, by cutting people off before they've finished and even coming to blows if the blood reaches boiling point!

Frustration is not just limited to listening though, it can be a "Frustrated Talker" who is on the receiving end of constant interruptions from others, who finally succumbs to internal pressures to "be heard out".

In a balanced conversation, each participant knows when it is their turn to talk, when they should stop or when to let others speak. While they are sharing their truth, they are also open and aware of someone else with a desire to speak. The flow passes easily around the group, because they are all listening and are all "aware". They are not just biding time and formulating their own response, but actually listening and relating to the person talking. The point of the conversation is the sharing and communion of ideas, with patience and respect for each other participant.

In an UN-balanced conversation, however, some or all of the participants are just looking for THEIR opportunity to express themselves, to share THEIR truth, affirm THEIR attitudes, heighten THEIR self worth, with the focus on THEM and with the energy moving largely in one direction - to THEM. In this conversation participants ignore the "etiquette" of a balanced dialogue, because the aim is to push ONE's SELF forward, scoring points for their ego as they go.

All of this happens at a sub-conscious level of course - few of us deliberately manipulate a dialogue (apart from politicians maybe!). We learned how to do this as a child, even in the cradle - aware of the energy flow, of who is dominant and who backs down. We learned how to rise above others and receive recognition for our wit, our humour, our intelligence. Either that, or we learned to sit quietly in a corner, listening to the interplay, possibly even wanting to join in, but holding ourselves back through fear - of ridicule, or of domination by others. The energy that builds up by feeling pushed down by others, can have a very explosive outpouring when it finally gets an opening - it's always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for!!!

It's interesting to note, that when people behave in the same way while driving a car (ie frustration at other drivers who ignore the rules of the road or are impolite in their driving manners) we call it Road Rage - perhaps we should coin a new phrase for conversations that get out of hand - Word Rage?

The answer to all this?

First, don't buy into the game play. At any time you have an opportunity to leave a conversation that is un-balanced.

If you are being "cut off" repeatedly, you can let the other person know why you are discontinuing the conversation. That you expect the same level of respect from them by listening to you, as they do when they are speaking. Although, you might check first whether you have been "hogging" in case they couldn't get a word in edgeways!

If you are faced with a Hogger - rather than adopt one of the un-balanced techniques born out of frustration, a simple way of slicing into a monologue is - "Excuse me for interrupting, but...". Don't use it as an opportunity to take over the conversation, but let them know how you are feeling about the conversation flow. If you can't agree on an equitable framework for a conversation - find someone else to talk to.

All of this applies to most general conversations, but if you look closely at your most significant relationships and how conversations and debates usually occur between you, it will also give you a good idea about how you relate generally. There may be one who talks more and one who listens more and still a feeling of balance between you - but is there a respectful status quo between you when you discuss something or do you have to "fight" to be heard? Are you shouted down or ridiculed or do you interrupt and cut them off before they've had chance to speak?

Do you come away from a conversation with feelings of frustration or of superiority? Both are clear signs that someone is gaining from the interchange and someone losing.

Or do you feel calmness, through a clear and balanced expression of each other's view.

4. GLOBAL LOVE DAY - 1st May 2005

Global Love Day is gathering pace with the involvement of individuals and organisations who want to share in the energy of the day.

There has been positive response from a number of spiritually minded people, who will be co-ordinating their own "loving group" on that day.

If you would like to contribute or take part, even in a small way - every little counts. Light a candle, get up and greet the dawn, sit in quiet reflection or watch the sun go down. Small acts of kindness, or a call to a friend - there are many ways to focus on love that day.

For other ideas - visit our web site at www.hark.net.au/global_love_day.htm or The Love Foundation at www.thelovefoundation.com

5. Tarot Truths by Dr Adrian Hillman

Now the Tarot is everywhere. You see advertisements for readings in every magazine and newspaper. Larger bookshops and every New Age shop will have a rack of guide books and a choice of maybe 20 different packs of cards for you to learn to read Tarot yourself. Tarot has certainly become big business and an ancient icon of the early 21st Century.

But do you know how the Tarot works and how it can be a help to you? What is the best way to go about a reading or if you are interested in learning to use the Tarot yourself, where do you start?

Read the full article at www.hark.net.au/articles/tarot_truths.htm

6. AND FINALLY ...

A Religious Debate
------------------

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Jews had to leave Italy. Of course, there was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would hold a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews had to leave.

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, couldn't speak Latin and the Pope couldn't speak Yiddish. So it was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.

On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and chalice of wine.

Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and said, "I concede the debate. This man has bested me. The Jews can stay."

Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.

Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.
I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He
pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. So, what could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community crowded around the Rabbi, asking what happened. "Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me, 'You Jews have three days to get out of here.' So I said to him, 'Up yours'.

Then he tells me the whole city would be cleared of Jews. So I said to him, 'Listen here Pope, the Jews stay right here!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the Rabbi. "We broke for lunch."

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