Who/What is a SOUL MATE? 

One of the most frequently asked questions during psychic readings is "Is he/she my soul mate?" But, what do people really mean by the term SOUL MATE anyway?

I think generally there is a very rosy and idealistic view of what constitutes "soul mateship". Something along the lines of - knight in shining armour meets beautiful princess, they fall deeply in love, have beautiful and perfect children together and they all live happily ever after!

When you compare that rosy image with your "knight", who has the manners of Shrek or your "princess" who turns out to be your "mother-in-law" in disguise, and the kids who seem to be the spawn of hell, it's no wonder you start to ask questions. Like, is it too late to take them back and get a refund? or "Thank you, I'll let you know - Next!"

But, that's all part of life, that's reality. In movies you may be able to edit out the f.arts and burps, the arguments, the trip ups, spills or mishaps, but in real life - you live it all, including the "out-takes". The process of living, changes you, it moulds your personality, your expression of yourself, maybe even creates layers of protection to keep out all the nasty bits you can't cope with. But, that's why you're here, now, alive - to interact and to relate.

Which brings me back to the original question about soul mates.

To explain this better, first, imagine yourself as a bright and pure crystal, perfect in every way. You are born into the world and dropped in the ocean, where your journey leads you into many places.

Sometimes you may lie in stagnant pools, at other times you are swept along with currents and eddies. You are buffeted or scraped by boulders and maybe bits get chipped off in the process. Along the way, too, you pick up debris, then some mud that sticks and forms a crusty layer. Gradually bit by bit you find that you've changed since you were born, the shiny crystal is still there in the core, but now there are layers of accretions from all those things you experienced on your journey.

What you need now is something to chip off all those bits that don't belong. Something you can roll along with and bump up against, and in the process wear away the added layers.

You could try doing this with a big, hard, tough lump of granite (and some do) which will probably chip off huge chunks and very rapidly, but which might also make dents in the lovely crystal inside. More than likely you end up looking like a battered old rock and get thrown back out to sea - but hey, there are plenty more pebbles on the beach!

You could look for a soft and smooth coated pebble to rumble along with - but if all it's got is soft layers of clay, how will it get through your crusty layers? What impact is it really going to have on you? More likely, it will crack at your first butt!

Your ideal "pebble" would be one that has similar qualities to yourself, the same level of hardness in it's layers, so that when you bump up against each other, you both help each other scrape off your unwanted extra loads, to reveal the crystal at the core. It will have some sticky out bits just as you do and as you roll along together, you gradually chip off and smooth away the layers, rounding each other's edges and polishing the beauty of each other.

This is essentially what a soul mate is and does. They are a perfect partner in that any interactions with them ultimately lead towards a positive and mutually beneficial effect. Soul mates "know" each other, can see the perfect core underneath the layers and are happy to rub up alongside each other, because their inner strength matches each other's.

They allow barriers and protective layers to be released and help each other to BE who they really are inside.

It is possible to have more than one soul mate, but not usually at the same time. Soul mates are "similar" souls, similar enough, yet different enough to be effective in mutual growth and shared love. It is common to have known each other in a previous life in some way, which is why there is often an instant "knowing" that this is the "one".

Soul mates may be with you for life, or for a season, but you will know them because they are there for a reason.

(J Hargreaves 7th February 2005)

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